Dad: How much batter should I make?
Mom: Well, look at the recipe. How many does it yield?
Dad: Yield? What is this yield business?
Mom: It's a cooking term.
Dad: Yeah, but it's the kind of thing that gets written at the end of a recipe. No one actually uses it in real life.
Discussing their new fireplace, a little while later....
Mom: So, have you talked to anyone about how to do the gas fittings?
Dad: Nope. I'm just gonna wing-it.
Mom: What happens if you blow yourself up? More importantly, what if you blow us both up?
Dad:Well, if that happens....then we've yielded three beautiful children. They can collect on the life insurance.
Dad: You don't trust me, do you?
Mom: After 30 years, I've learned to trust you. But when you say things like that, you don't always convince me.
I run to the computer, and furiously start typing their conversation, because I'm convinced that Molly and Marie will think it's hilarious...
Dad: What are you doing?
Me:...definitely not typing a transcript of the conversation you just had...
Dad: Jeez! Is anything in this family private anymore?!