Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Wherein I Lose My Mind

Oh man.

I'm not going to lie: I kind of thought that this whole beauty school would be a little bit less stressful than traditional school. Actually, I thought it might be less stressful than, say... being force-fed snails while listening to a million babies crying.

You know what?


Soooooo wrong.

I mean, we're about to graduate. In high school, the four weeks before we graduated were awesome. And they were awesome because we didn't do a damn thing.
Because that is what one is supposed to do right before one graduates.

Not when you're me, apparently.

I have a HUGE makeup competition next Wednesday, which is not only a huge part of my grade but also a really important opportunity. And I need a model. And I still don't have one.
Anyone live in Chicago and not work and want to donate their Wednesday morning (and Tuesday night for a dry run-through) to get an awesome free makeup application to help me out?

Also: I'm doing makeup for THREE fashion shows between now and then end of April.

And I have to study for the state boards.

And find a job.

And pass my final.

And actually graduate.

And, at some point, find an opportunity to deal with the rest of my life.

Ay yay yay.
I know. I need to shut the hell up.

Because there are children in Haiti without parents and food and shelter, women dying of AIDS in huts in Africa, and lots of other horrible things happening in the world that trump my whining.
I know that.

But sometimes...

A girl just needs to yell.

You know?

PS: Crystal Bowersox kicks some SERIOUS American Idol @$$.

Monday, March 22, 2010



I like talking about myself.

1. what is your current obsession?
Creative makeup. And maybe eyebrows.

2. what are you wearing today?
Sisly jeans, American Apparel white cami, black long-sleeve from Nordstrom, awesome scarf from Akira, brown boots from Aldo, and gold hoops from some seller on Etsy that I can't recall.

3. what’s for dinner?
El Salvadorian food. Super-pumped.

4. what’s the last thing you bought?
Purple tulips from Trader Joe's.

5. what are you listening to right now?

6. what is sitting next to you right now?
A large gray cat. Purring and snoozing.

7. if you could have a house totally paid for, fully furnished anywhere in the world, where would you like it to be?
Winnetka on the shore of the lake. Or Paris.

8. one thing you wanna change about yourself?
So many things... but probably my follow-through (bachelor's degree..cough cough...)

9. if you could go anywhere in the world for the next hour, where would you go?

10. which language do you want to learn?
French, Portuguese, Italian and German are on my list.

11. what’s your favourite quote?
"Not all those who wander are lost."-- JRR Tolkein. In fact, if I were to get a tattoo, that would be it.

12 . would you cook for me?
Homemade pizza or spaghetti. We like carbs over here.

13. what is the right way to avoid people who purposefully hurt you?
Walk away. Or ignore them. Or punch them in the face. Either way.

14. what are you afraid of the most?

15. who do you want to meet right now?
Dr. Drew. He just seems so "with it." I think it would be interesting to sit down and talk to him.

16. what is your favourite color?
Purple. It's kind of an obsession.

17. give us 3 styling tips that work for you.
Fun jewelry (animal-themed works for me)
Always bring someone you trust to shop with you.

18. what is your dream job?
Makeup artist, photographic stylist, journalist.

19. what’s your favorite magazine?
Real Simple.

20. if you had $100 now, what would you spend it on?
Books. Or maybe towards my credit card debt? That would be a good plan.

21. what do you consider a fashion faux pas?
Trying too hard.

22. who according to you is the most over-rated writer?
Stephenie Meyer. I know, I know- I've read Twilight, I've seen the movies. The concept is pretty innovative, but the writing really is crap.

23. what brings a smile on your face instantly?
Stupid cat pictures, funny text messages from teh BFF's.

24. a word that you say a lot?
The F-Word. I try really, REALLY hard not to and I'm getting better, but it's definitely still present in my vernacular.

25. what kind of haircut do you prefer?
I would love LOVE to have long hair. I think it's much more versatile. However, by the time my hair gets to the "growing out" point, it tends to get stringy and annoying. So, short and layered it is!

26. what are you going to do after this?
Laundry, homework, and running some errands.

27. what do you do when you are feeling low or terribly depressed?
Take a nap with the fat gray cat.

28. what makes you go wild?
Nice weather.

29. what are your favourite movies?
There are so many....but lately, I've been into foreign films with subtitles.

30. what inspires you?
Literature. Poetry. Movies. Music. Photography. Paintings. Art, in a word.

31. what do your friends call you most commonly?
Loud. Or neurotic.

32. would you prefer coffee or tea?
Tea. Coffee tends to upset my stomach.

33. which other blogs do you love visiting?
A lot of them. Anything that doesn't take itself too seriously, is witty, has great ideas, or beautiful images.

34. favorite dessert/sweet?
Popsicles. I've also been known to inhale creme brulee, but I'm trying to eliminate dairy so that's not happening anymore.

35. how many tabs are turned on in your browser right now?
Four. That's pretty tame 'round these parts.

36. when you looked at yourself in the mirror today, what was the first thing you thought?
Walk away. Very quickly.

37. favorite season?
Fall. I love all the smells and the colors and the weather. It's pretty much perfect.

38. one wish that you really want to see it come true?
An appropriate plan for environmental conservation, a solution to world hunger and a solution to all the excess consumption, particularly in America. That counts as one wish, right?

39. what breaks your heart?
Mistreatment of animals. Close-minded people. Young girls who feel the need to objectify themselves as a result of low self-esteem.

40. what's one thing you really want to do in life?
Live with total independence.

Sunday, March 21, 2010

An Astute Observation

Brother: How old is that cat?

Me: Three. Isn't he adorable?

Brother: I guess that means he's going to be around for a while.

Me: True. I'm kind of concerned that I'll turn into a crazy cat lady.

Brother: Um, I think you're already there.

Me: ...

Someone get me a shopping cart and a dirty bathrobe.

Saturday, March 20, 2010

Back in the Day

I was inspired by this post, courtesy of Emily and her AH-mazing blog (but seriously, you shouldn't look at it unless you're willing to be super-depressed that you aren't skinny and beautiful and have an awesome boyfriend and awesome clothes and live in LA and take awesome pictures), regarding favorite childhood movies. And, since we all know that I suck at coming up with original ideas, I'm stealing...ahem....borrowing hers.

Because who doesn't have great taste in movies when they're six?

1. The Little Mermaid. This is the first movie I remember seeing in the movie theater. My Dad surprised me one Saturday by taking me. And let me tell you, going to the movies with your dad in kindergarten sans siblings is a huge deal. Huge. We also got it on VHS at some point, and my brother, sister, and I would dance around the living room screaming the lyrics to "Under the Sea" at the top of our lungs during the appropriate scene in the movie. Also, it is worth mentioning that shortly after my initial viewing of the film, I tried to give myself bangs with Fiskar's safety scissors and color my hair with a red Sharpie underneath the neighbor's kitchen table because I "wanted to be pretty like Ariel," successfully making myself look like I belonged in special ed. Yeah. That happened.

2. Pete's Dragon. An orphan boy. His pet green dragon that only he can see. Cartoon animation mixed in with a cast of real people. The song "Candle on the Water." MICKEY ROONEY AS AN ALCOHOLIC UNCLE. What is not fabulous about this movie? Answer: absolutely nothing.

3. Newsies. Somehow, my Mom discovered this on VHS at the library, and it swiftly became a full-blown obsession in our house. The soundtrack played nonstop, and I'm fairly certain that Mommy came to regret her decision. We now own it on DVD, so I can enjoy dancing teenage boys anytime I want. Err....that came out wrong.

4. Return to Oz. Creepy? Um, yes. But also kind of awesome. As those who know me best will attest, anything Oz-related makes my mouth water. And, when you're the little girl who watched the first movie so much that the tape eventually wore out, the prospect of a sequel the depicts life for Dorothy after she clicks her heels together three times is pretty wonderful indeed.

5. The Great Mouse Detective. If Sherlock Holmes were a mouse, this movie would be about him. But he's not, so it isn't. It's better. Because Sherlock Holmes doesn't sing. And this mouse dude? Totally does.

6. The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe (BBC Edition). Another memorable public library find (thanks Mom). The Siblings and I watched this weekly, at the very least. Personally? I think this version trumps the newer one- less CGI, fewer special effects, and all the magic of the book.

7. Commando. So, not exactly a kids movie. I'm aware. But this Arnold classic makes the list for the simple fact that this was the very first rated-R movie my Dad rented for us. I think I was about seven. You'd better believe that my mom was piiiiiissed.

8. To Kill a Mockingbird. Also not a kids movie. But, here's why it's a fave: when we were little, my Uncle Tom and Aunt Beth lived in an old farmhouse in West Liberty, Iowa. West Liberty was a happening place: the birthplace of our 31st president Mr. Herbert Hoover, home of the West Liberty public pool where you get yelled at by the lifeguards if you swim in between the diving boards, and corn. Lots and lots of corn. Did you know that sometimes it rains in Iowa? Well it does. And when it rains and the place you're visiting happens to be filled only with activities that can be done outside (in the middle of a cornfield, no less), it becomes necessary for children to find other things to entertain themselves with. "To Kill a Mockinbird" was, for some reason, the only movie we ever watched while spending time there. I'm not really sure why, but I think we all got better grades in freshman English because of it.

9. An American Tail. More mice. More musicals. I'm noticing a theme here. Now that I think about it, this movie has a lot of death and violence in it, particularly for a cartoon full of dancing rodents. It also contains a lot of rather adult symbolism regarding immigrants and Ellis Island and prejudice. Which I suppose is valuable, as is evident by the fact that my brother has never studied for a single history test in his life and still managed to get consistently get A's in the subject. As for myself, I just watched the movie for the song "There Are Not Cats in America." You should check it out and share in my love for it.

10. The Wizard of Oz. You knew it was coming. Don't even try to deny it.

Oh, and just in case you're wondering why I happen to be posting on a Saturday night...it's definitely not because I chose to come home after school today and watch "Mulan" on the Disney Channel with my cat instead of going out. Definitely DEFINITELY not.

Tuesday, March 16, 2010


And, apparently, the talented person who took this picture?
Allowing the Average Joe's of the world to download and print.
Want in on this action?
Get some.

Monday, March 15, 2010

Dear John Krasinski

I am fairly certain that I can cook far better than Emily Blunt.
So, you should ditch her.
And marry me instead.
Just a thought.

Adorable photos from here via here


Sunday, March 14, 2010

Oh. And one more thing....

Borrowed this lovely blog.
I know it's written in Portuguese.
But I don't care.
Her images are so lovely.
Also: I'm going to learn to speak Portuguese.
Didn't I tell you?

Humiliation in 60 Seconds or Less.

Erm...I came across this little gem in my TV travels tonight.
What? I was waiting for "Amazing Race" to TiVo!
Stop judging.


If you're not familiar, "Minute to Win It" features contestants that try to win $1,000,000 by performing inane tasks. For example: emptying an entire Kleenex (excuse me...tissue...) box with one hand, knocking a pyramid of six pop cans off a table by launching rubber-bands at them, and bouncing ping-pong balls into a fishbowl through a series of three paper plates.
All in sixty seconds or less, as the name implies.

There are ten levels, and the tasks get progressively harder as the levels increase. Contestants also get three "lives," just in case their water-bottle-tossing-skills aren't up to snuff and they happen to fail.

Um, what?

Since when is acting like a drunken frat boy trying to impress a bunch of Kappas considered talent?

I veto this.

I do love Guy Fieri, though.
He cracks me up.
And he's got bitchin' hair.

I Suck.


I know I haven't posted in a billion years.
My grandmother is about ready to kill me (or deny me peanut-butter-oatmeal cookies for the rest of my life...I'm not sure which is worse, to be honest).

There's been a whole lot going on and I know that you're just DYING (all four of you) to hear all about it.

Here it goes:

As we all know, I got laid off. Which sucked.
Then I temped for a while. For the same company I got laid off from. Which also sucked.
And then our apartment tried to kill us with rats and black mold and stress. Big time suckage.

But you know what didn't suck?
I moved back in with my parents (which does not, I repeat DOES NOT suck).
In Chicago. Definitely the opposite of suck.
Finally, I'm going to school at the Aveda Institute Chicago in their esthiology program. Which means that I will be fully-licensed to be....drumroll....a professional makeup artists!

*Also? I can wax. Legally. So, if you need a braziallian? I'm your gal.

And, the big gray cat is here too.

So, it would suffice to say that I am happy.
Life is good.
And you know what?
I'm going to share that goodness with the internets.
On a regular basis.

Because you know what?
You deserve it.
All four and a half of you.

Not to mention that it's good for me, too.

And that?
That doesn't suck.
Not even a little bit.