Monday, December 27, 2010

...And a Partridge in a Pear Tree.

Hello, lovelies.

Did you have a good Christmas?
I sure did.

You may have noticed that I stopped my little Twelve Days of Christmas list a little early. I won't lie, things got busy. That's what happens when you work retail during the holidays, I suppose.
But, more important than all the gifts that I wants or all the gifts I received, was the fact that I got to spend 48 hours uninterrupted with my wonderful family.

from here.

I really am very , very lucky.

Monday, December 20, 2010

Five Golden Rings...

On the fifth day of Christmas...from here.

See what I did there?

Sunday, December 19, 2010

Six Geese A-Laying...

On the sixth day of Christmas...from here.

Saturday, December 18, 2010

Seven Swans A-Swimming...

On the seventh day of Christmas...from here.

Friday, December 17, 2010

Eight Maids A-Milking

On the eighth day of Christmas...
In black, please.

from here.

Thursday, December 16, 2010

Nine Ladies Dancing

On the ninth day of Christmas...from here.

At First Sight

You guys.
I am kind of in love with this website.
funny pictures-Do I LOOK like I give a hoot?
see more Lolcats and funny pictures
Just thought you should know.

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Oh. Em. Gee.

Have you seen this show?

I am in love.
Officially.
Particularly with these dudes, even though they were eliminated.
Whatevs.




Except Nicole Sherzinger is kind of a moron.
And by "kind of a moron", I mean...an epic moron.
I've been in kind a fashion rut lately (that's no secret, let's be honest with ourselves).
One of my challenges for myself this winter season is to find cold weather ensembles that don't involve blue jeans and Uggs. I mean, Uggs are appropriate for...let's say, sledding and tromping through the snow, but I have a feeling that if I wear them out to dinner one more time, a certain gentleman in my life might puke all over them. And jeans...we love jeans! But, it sure wouldn't hurt to

So, this is my answer to the problem. I think.

Ten Lords A-Leaping

On the tenth day of Christmas...
Align Center from here.

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Eleven Pipers Piping

On the eleventh day of Christmas...from here.

Monday, December 13, 2010

Twelve Drummers Drumming

On the twelfth day of Christmas...
from here.

Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Twenty-One.

My baby sister, Janie, turned 21 yesterday.

Do I feel old? Yes. I do.

But I also feel incredibly lucky and grateful to have such a wonderful, beautiful, and talented little sister.

When Janie and I were younger, we shared a room; she had a lofted bed and I, ever the princess, had a canopy bed (I think it's worth mentioning that our father built not only our beds, but 90% of the furniture in our bedrooms. He's that cool.) At some point, my parents cut a large piece of wood to we wedged between Janie's mattress and side of the bed so she wouldn't roll over in the middle of the night and tumble 6 feet down, cracking her skull on the hardwood floor. Smart ones, my parents. This implement became known as "The Board." Of course, Janie is a midget (no offense to any actual midgets out there) and was therefore unable to lift The Board on her own. Occasionally one of my parents would put it up before they went to bed, but more often the task fell to me. And of course, the matter was not brought to my attention until I was under my blankets, half-asleep. The conversations went something like this:

Janie: Molly...

Me: mrmrmrmrmmmmm....

Janie: Molly?

Me: ajsksklduiej....

Janie: MOLLY

Me: WHAT?!

Janie: I need to you put The Board up for me

Me: I'm sleeping. Do it yourself.

Janie: Please?

Me: No. It's not my fault you're so short.

Janie: Please?

Me: No! I'm asleep. See? I'm sleeping.

Janie: But if you don't do it, I'll fall out of bed in my sleep and die.

Me: I don't see why this is such a bad thing.

Janie: MOLLY!

Me: FINE!

And I would mutter some four-letter words under my breath, stumble out of bed to her side of the bedroom, and shove The Board into place, thereby saving my little sister's life.

So here's to you, little sister.
Happy birthday.
Just know that I will always, always be there to put The Board up.

So you can continue to be awesome and save the world.

Addendum: I should mention that one time, I forgot to put up The Board, and Janie fell out of bed. But don't worry. The Barbie Dream House broke her fall.

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Things I love about Today...

1. Harry Potter.
2. Milk Duds.
3. Uggs. (don't judge)
4. Red Slurpees.
5. Leggings.
6. My bed.
7. Distilled water.
8. My friends.
9. Cookbooks as bedside reading.
10. Baby Brother and Baby Sister are both home.

Monday, November 8, 2010

I'm really good...

...at making not-so-good choices.

Specifically, the fact that I have been roped into seeing "Paranormal Activity 2" tonight.
I love being scared.
But hate scary movies.
Ironic?
Maybe.
Bad idea?
Definitely.

And, you may ask me, "but Molly, shouldn't you be blogging? Because, you know...it's been about 50 bajillion years since you've done so."

You're right, gentle reader.
You. Are. Right.

And I will do so.

When I have my next day off.

Which is Thursday.

Until such time, I am going to enjoy my tofu nuggets from Trader Joe's.
And then proceed to get the poop scared out of me.

Love!

Monday, October 18, 2010

Bee Tee Dubs

BTW (by the way)

I start a new job tomorrow.

I'm really excited.

Except that it's not a job that allows me to constantly blog at work.

Sooo....sucks for you guys, I guess.

I'm off to get my life in order.

And enjoy my last foreseeable day off in the near future.

Holla.

Friday, October 15, 2010

Today, I Believe...

...in the magic of spray paint. Especially purple spray paint.

...in watching really dumb, horrible movies with really great, wonderful friends.

...that sweatpants with thing written across the rear should only be worn in the comfort of one's own home.

...that April should not have been eliminated last night. Originality FTW.

...Cheerios are an appropriate breakfast, no matter what your age.

...navy blue is the new black. Or, at the very least, my new black.

...new make-up is the best pick-me-up.


What do you believe today?

Thursday, October 14, 2010

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

A post in which I get a little inappropriate

I'm just going to put this out there:
I hate shaving my legs.

Not because I like being hairy.
Quite the opposite.
That's why I became an esthetician.
Because unnecessary body hair. must. die.

I'm in favor a shave-every-day kind of gal. In fact, I kind of need to be (the Italian/Irish double whammy, as I like to call it).
That is, if my skin could handle it.
You see, dear reader(s), my legs erupt into tiny, angry, red bumps every time I place a razor to them.
The only plausible solutions I've come up with in the past are to A). not shave for a whole week so that the hair is super-long when then allows removal to be less irritating, or B). let it grow out for a month and then wax it.
Neither of those things sound like roads I want to go down.

Apparently, this horribly sensitive skin syndrome is hereditary because my sister is also afflicted with it.
Generally, we commiserate over our misfortune whenever we spend time together. It's one of our favorite topics.
However while visiting the homestead this weekend, she enlightened me with her new leg-shaving-regimen that had yielded great personal success for her and her limbs.
So I tried it.
The verdict?
I'm glad I listened to my sister.
The whole thing is actually quite ingenious and as a professional and licensed skincare provider, I'm a little ashamed that I didn't come up with it.
Oh well.

These are the supplies one needs to create your personal hair-removal Nirvana:

1). A sharp razor. Janie prefers the Gillette Venus Embrace. I'm more of a Mach3 kind of girl. I've just found that it works better for me. Whatever your poison, make sure that you install a new blade every 2 to 3 shaves. It sounds expensive, I know, but all the ice cream you'll be eating after your boyfriend dumps you because your legs look like something scary from outer space? That'll be expensive too.

2). A pumice stone.

3). Neutrogena Body Clear body scrub. I'm sure an alternative exists somewhere on the planet, but it's probably seven billion dollars and made from imported sea kelp from India, or something. You can buy this stuff at Target.

4). A good shaving cream. Or gel. Whatever. Dr. Bronner's is choice numero uno in my book. It's really the best thing that I've found, and it's organic and vegan. So, how can you lose? That's right. You can't.

What I generally do is bust out my razor in the middle of my shower, after the steam and warm water have softened my skin a little and opened my pores. Using the pumice stone and the body scrub together, I exfoliate my legs (note: this should not feel like little feathers kissing your skin. It will feel scratchy, but not painful. Or, at least, it shouldn't). Rinse, followed by shaving gel application and hair removal.

Aaaaannnnd...voila!
Smooth, shiny, non itchy legs.

I highly recommend using a moisturizer after toweling off. That way your skin doesn't die. My favorite? Kiehl's Creme de Corps. They also have a lightweight version, for those of us who don't have skin that is constantly dehydrated. But that's not me.

So, do you have the same leg-shaving dilemmas?
If your answer is "yes", try my crazy-awesome-no-razor-burn method.
If your answer is "no", well I guess you just read a whole post about leg-shaving for nothing, didn't you?

Monday, October 11, 2010

Attention People:

I am in super-mega-major project mode.

I don't know what's going on.

But am I currently:
spray painting.
regular painting.
stealing paint sample from Home Depot (secret project. Will post pictures)

Organizing the heck out of:
my dresser drawers.
under my bed.
my closet (the clothing AND the shelves full of crap. I know.)

cleaning the bathroom.
doing dishes.
50 billion loads of laundry.
dusting. (dusting?)
vacuuming.

Weird.

Be back on Planet Earth tomorrow.
Hopefully.

Street Art

I've been pretty obsessed with guerrilla-style street art lately.
Not the Cows on Parade kind of installments.
The little, hidden signatures of citizens that make each metropolis unique.
Kind of like a treasure hunt.

I encountered a lot of beautiful, inspiring installations when I lived and traveled in Europe.
For some reason, I was more focused on taking pictures of cathedrals and monuments.
Silly me.
I could kick myself.
Thankfully, other people weren't as oblivious.

Leeds, UK
from here.



Cleveland
from here.

Sao Paulo, Brazil
from here.

Chicago
from here.

Paris
from here.

New York
from here.

Montreal
from here.

I think we all need a little bit of whimsy these days.

Thursday, October 7, 2010

Regarding my lack of blogging activity

...apologies.

I've felt like total garbage for the past week or so.
Therefore, it's been difficult to find motivation to do anything but sleep and watch Sister Wives on-demand (seriously, why aren't you watching this show? It's a TRAIN WRECK.)

Give me a couple more days.
And send some happy thoughts my way.

funny pictures of cats with captions
see more Lolcats and funny pictures

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Can I...

...please have everything in this shop?

especially these.


And these.


And definitely this.




Monday, September 27, 2010

My Mighty Life List

Two things you need to know about this list:
1. It's no exactly a "life" list. It's a "before I turn 30" list. I just used this title because...
2. ...I am a thief. The list is more of a combination of ideas from this Mighty Girl post and this post from Making It Lovely. As someone who spends a lot of time on the internet because their job involves a lot of sitting around, I'm able to find sources of inspiration from lots of different places. And these are two of them. I won't lie, some of the things on this list might be...ahem...*borrowed* from Maggie and Nicole.

1. Open a champagne bottle with a knife
2. Ride an elephant through the jungle in Thailand
3. Throw my parents a kick-ass anniversary party
4. Audition for The Amazing Race
5. Learn to ride a motorcycle
6. Go on a camping trip through the mountains on horseback
7. Skydiving
9. Swim with dolphins
10. Learn to sail a boat
11. Own a dog
12. Have hair past my shoulders
13. Taking a cooking class at Le Cordon Bleu
14. Wear red lipstick every day for a month
15. Learn how to sew
16. Make a blanket out of all my old t-shirts from high school
17. Learn to speak French
18. Travel to Japan
19. Have a story published in a magazine
20. Write a novel
21. Write a play and have it produced.
22. See a show on Broadway
23. Live in a foreign country for a year
24. Go whale watching
25. Sing at an open-mic night
26. Climb Mt. Kilimanjaro
27. Visit a Buddhist temple
28. Learn to play guitar
29. Move out of my parent's house
30. Read 100 books
31. Participate in La Tomatina
32. Learn to drive stickshift.
33. Run a half-marathon
34. Buy handmade (or make) Christmas gifts for everyone on my list.
35. Learn how to change a tire on my own
36. Ride a zip line through a tree canopy
37. See Mt. Rushmore
38. See the Grand Canyon
39. Camp in Yellowstone
40. Host a beautiful, classy dinner party outdoors.
41. Have an adult, big-girl wardrobe
42. Define my own personal "clothing" style
43. Drive a car in a country where they drive on the other side of the road
44. Get headshots taken
45. Spend the night in a haunted castle
46. Visit CS Lewis' home
47. Learn to ride a unicyle
48. Go scuba diving
49. Plant a vegetable garden
50. Grow roses
51. Attend an Alabama/Auburn game
52. Build an igloo
53. See that church made entirely of bones
54. Pay off all my debt
55. Volunteer somewhere different one day per week for a whole year.
56. Go on a road trip with my Dad.
57. Pet a giraffe
58. Ride in a helicopter
59. Swim in hot springs
60. Visit MoMA
61. Stand under a waterfall
62. Travel to Venice
63. Camp in the Badlands
64. Attend a foreign film festival
65. Blow through a conch shell
66. Learn how to ski
67. Watch all three "Godfather" movies
68. Go to Las Vegas for a girl's weekend
69. See Cirque de Soliel
70. Visit the Baseball Hall of Fame
71. Drink raw coconut water from an actual coconut.
72. Read 100 books.
73. See a performance Shakespeare in Central Park
74. Go to The Four Corners and take a picture
75. Walk in a rainforest
76. Go to a hip-hop concert
77. Take the Wrigley Field tour
78. Drink Uzo in Greece
79. Slide down a natural rock water-slide.
80. Have a family photo taken (Mom, Dad, Me, Joey, and Janie).
81. Attend a film premier.
82. Paint a mural
83. Try bamboo pickles.
84. Swing on a trapeze.
85. See the Northern Lights.
86. Read every single Jane Austen book.
87. Take a hot-air balloon ride.
88. Paint a self-portrait.
89. Do the Gospel Brunch at the House of Blues
90. Play in a poker tournament.
91. Put my leg behind my head.
92. Have an outfit custom made for me.
93. Protest something I believe in.
94. Participate in Big Brothers, Big Sisters.
95. See a meteor shower.
96. Bake a pie.
97. Attend a Comic Con.
98. Learn to knit.
99. Have dinner at French Laundry.
100. Attend a reading of The Moth

Saturday, September 25, 2010

BULLS#!T

Okay J.Crew.
I get it.
I get that every time you guys have a corporate meeting, priority numero uno is: "how can we make Molly's life suck exponentially more?"

A veritable gaggle of cashmere sweaters in new colors?
Maybe.

Seductive, feather-light silk shells that work under cardigans and blazers?
Slightly painful.

Creating a line of breathtaking wedding apparel when I have no need for such a thing?
Torture.

But this?
This latest stunt of yours?
Hilarious.
And not so much in a funny "ha ha ha" kind of way.
More like a funny "stab stab stab" way.

Seriously, J.Crew.
Making your factory store available ONLINE?
A bounty of beautifully constructed and moderately-priced classic fashion at my fingertips?
That's just low.
Even if it IS only on the weekends.

My bank account and I do not approve.

from here.

And neither does this sea turtle, apparently.

Totally Normal...?

Five things about me that might be a little strange.

1. I crack my toes constantly. Like, my life will not continue unless I can bend my toes an experience the unparalleled satisfaction of the pop! and relief that subsequently occurs. That's how vital it is to my existence. And if someone else cracks my toes for me? Well let's just say that after that, they don't even have to buy me dinner.

2. I chew gum. All the time. I think I'm paranoid about my breath. Trust me, I'm no oral hygiene slouch: I carry a toothbrush with me at all times. My job necessitates a very close proximity to others, and as such I am inclined to err on the side of caution. I'm up to about a half a pack a day. Do they make a patch for people like me?

3. My underwear and bra must always match.

4. Sometimes when I am in a crowded place and I see someone who has a made a poor fashion choice for the day, I make them over in my head (What Not To Wear-style). I do the same thing with people's eyebrows. I've embarrassed my sister more than once by going up to random strangers and saying, "so, when was the last time someone tried to tame that face-jungle of yours?"

5. I thoroughly enjoy extracting crap from people's faces. I'm just going to leave it at that.


I hereby tag Lizzie, Molly Beth, and Sally.

Go on.
Let your Freak Flag fly.

Bibliophilia

I would be completely okay...
from here

...with and entire library filled with books like these.
Gorgeous.

Friday, September 24, 2010

All kinds of greatness

Eastbound and Down. It's baaaacccck.

This article. I have a totally ridiculous love for animals who adopt other animals. Especially when they are not of their species.

I really love this necklace. And pretty much everything else on the website.

Thinking that it's probably time to get myself some new, fun office supplies. You know. For my office.

Who wants to see It's Kind of a Funny Story with me? Because it looks pretty awesome. And I'm a pretty big fan of Zach G.

Someone explain to me why I have yet to read this book.

from here

Cubs vs. Cards today.
On one of the rooftops.
Soooo money.

Thursday, September 23, 2010

On the subject of attractive men from television

I feel as though students would be more enthusiastic about school...

from here

...if teachers actually looked like this.

Attention:

Someone needs to buy me one or all of these.



from here.
spotted here.


Immediately.

Happy Autumn

This is my favorite season.

The leaves.
The colors.
The apples.
The pumpkins.
The breeze.
The smells.
The holidays.
The sky.

from here

Go on.
Have yourself a wonderful First Day of Autumn.

We'll Eat You Up, We Love You So

from here

Paul Dougherty's installation at the Brooklyn Botanic Garden = so cool.
It reminds me a little bit of Where The Wild Things Are, which is always a good thing.

The genius in this world amazes me sometimes.

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Upcycling at it's finest


from here

A gown made entirely from paper cranes?
I'll take one of those.

Y-E-S

from here

Hot damn.

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

A Letter to Remember Me By

Dear Grandpa-

Today is World Alzheimer's Day.
Funny thing, isn't it?
A year an a half ago, this day would not have meant a great deal to me.
But you changed all that.

A year and a half ago on an evening in March, I called to see how you and Grandma were doing. Your only brother had just died and I was worried that you were sad.
When I asked how you were feeling, Grandma responded "Oh, he's holding up very well. He's been taking medication and has a very positive outlook."
Medication?
Why would you be taking medication because Uncle Vito died.
I was confused.
And then, that's when Grandma said the word.
The worst word I've ever heard.
The word that I've always dreaded, but never believed would be a part of my life.

Alzheimer's.

No.
No.
No.

Those were the only words that I could form.
My ears started ringing.
My apartment started spinning.
My world was collapsing.

And then I dissolved.
I dissolved into a pile of tears and wailing and hysteria.

Alzheimer's is not supposed to happen to people like us:
People who have family reunions every summer while wearing matching t-shirts.
People who go on camping trips and stay up late around the campfire listening to grandparents talk about all the stupid things their children did growing up.
People who eat dinner together every Sunday. No matter what.

I suppose there were a few reasons I got so upset.
The first: I was scared for you.
The second: I was scared for me.

Selfish, I know.
But who would I be if you didn't remember me?
You're the reason I'm here.
If you and Grandma had never had my mother, she could not have had me.
If you and Grandma hadn't come to stay with us for three months every year before Christmastime so my parents could work to support three children and give them the best lives possible.
If you hadn't chopped wood every day for years so that we would have heat if it was cold when we came to visit you.

What would I do if you forgot about all that?

Alzheimer's is an awful disease.
Not simply because it robs it's victims of who they used to be.
Or their families of the people they love.
Alzheimer's hurts because there is no one to blame.
If it were a car accident, we could blame the driver.
If it were alcoholism, we could blame the bottle.
If it were cancer, we could blame the cigarettes, or the radiation, or the sun.
There is no one to blame.
No one.
And that?
That makes all of this so unfair.

But one of the beautiful things about all this, Grandpa, is that you've taught me how to live life.
The little things don't matter so much anymore.
Life is about all the big things.
Like watching your grandchildren play soccer.
Like listening to your children laugh.
Like dancing with your wife under the stars.

And so because of this, my darling Grandfather, I will strive to remember you not as an Alzheimer's patient but as a strong, funny, generous man who loves his family as he loves the air in his lungs.

I will remember sneezes that shake the whole house.
I will remember the BEST oil and vinegar salad in the world.
I will remember the BEST spaghetti sauce in the world.
I will remember that dinner is best when planned right after breakfast.
I will remember that money is worth more in the bank than anywhere else.

The man that jumps out of the shower to chase bats around the house with a bucket.
The man that has no belly-button (no, really. It's true).
The man who always looks good in a fedora.
The man who sang to all his grandchildren when they were babies.
The man who gives the greatest bear hugs.
The man who is a second father to me. And everyone else.

I realize that there is a very real possibility that someday, you may not know my face.
And you know what, Grandpa?
I'm not scared anymore.
I'm still sad.
I know that sadness will always be there.
But the fear?
The fear is gone.

Me and Gramps. Conquering the world together in Colorado, summer 2009

Because even if you can't remember who I am someday
I can never
ever
forget who you are.

At the risk of sounding like Rachael Ray

Yum-O.

Oh Martha...does your awesomeness know no bounds?

This is what I'm making for dinner tonight.
Along with veggie meatballs.
And marinara sauce.

Yes.

My TV might overheat

from here

from here.

I have no intention of watching these shows.
But.
These men?
Attractive.

Take a Chance on Me

Scientific fact: I make the World's Best Brussels Sprouts.
No, really.

If you don't think you like Brussels sprouts because your mother forced them upon you as a child or whatever, you should really give them another shot.
Here are 3 reasons why:

1. They are super, super simple. No, really. You basically wash them, cut them, wash them, and stick them in the oven. How could that get any easier? Oh, that's right. It couldn't.

2. There's a 99.7% chance that the ingredients (minus the Brussels sprouts, unless you're like me and you purchase them in bulk) are already in the kitchen.

3. They're delicious, nutritious, and....did I mention delicious?

I made these to go with salmon and sweet potato fries on Saturday...and I would definitely classify the meal as a success.

Okay, here's what you need:

-An oven pre-heated to 400 degrees.
-One pound of Brussels sprouts
Note: The Guy and I can polish off a pound by ourselves. And we're only two people. I can actually eat a whole pound by myself and call it dinner. So, if you're more than two people or you're a glutton like me, maybe you want to double the recipe. Or triple it. Whatever.
-
Salt
-Pepper
-Olive oil

Wash the sprouts and cut the 'em in half.
Toss them on a baking sheet and drizzle them with some olive oil.
Sprinkle with salt and pepper.
Swirl them around so that everything gets coated with everything else.
Throw them in the oven for 20 to 25 minutes, maybe longer depending on how big the little suckers are.
Grab a fork.
Gobble them up.

I'm telling you, roasting them does something perfectly magical to Brussels sprouts. They get all brown and crunchy (secret: I OVERcook them sometimes because I loves me some slightly burned food). I've seen recipes that use things like maple syrup and bacon or pancetta, but I feel like simple is better. Because I don't eat meat and if I wanted maple syrup, I'd make pancakes.

If I have failed in convincing you, maybe Andrew Bernard can do the trick?*

from here
*Umm...I apologize for the lack of embededness(?) for the video. And also the fact that it's, you know, in a different language. Try as I might, I could NOT find it on YouTube. Thanks for ruining my life, NBC.