Once Upon a Time...

..there was a girl named Molly.
She worked two jobs and hated it. She never got enough sleep and felt stressed out constantly.

Then one day, someone told her about their job and he whole world changed; the loved what they did. Loved the people they worked with. Loved their boss. Loved their coworkers.
And best of all, it sounded like a job that Molly would be really, really good at.
Was this company hiring? she asked.
Her friend said that they were, and told Molly to e-mail her a resume.

So Molly did just that and a few days later, she got a call.
Can you come in for and interview? the person on the other end asked.

During her interview, Molly thought about working in this office. She thought about the people who might be her coworkers and what her job would be like and what her days would be filled with.
The number one thing about this job that appealed to Molly: it would be making the world a better place.
She had always wanted to make the world a better place, somehow.
Can you see yourself working here? they asked.
Yes. Yes she could.

Then there was another interview.
And a job-shadow.
And a third interview.
Throughout this experience, Molly learned more about the job- how it would help people and make their lives infinitely better. How there was a high need for communication and interaction with others on this particular occupation.
Molly liked that.
The people in the office were nice, friendly, and had good senses of humor.
Molly liked that, too.

So when they offered her a job, Molly of course said yes.
She was very excited.
She couldn't think of another job she'd rather have.
And it didn't hurt that they were paying her more than both her other jobs combined.

Molly adored her job.
It was the happiest she'd ever been.

Until yesterday.

Her boss called Molly into her office.

We have to let someone go.
We're not making enough money to pay the whole staff.
You were the last one hired.
We're sorry.

*Poof*

There went Molly's awesome job.
And her awesome paycheck.
And her awesome ability to help others.

So the question is....
Where do I go from here.
Because I'm not sure.

How does this story end?

I ALMOST FORGOT!

How could I?

In June, Blake and I went here:

Atlanta, in case you're not super-smart and can't identify US cities by random pictures of their skylines.

It was super-hot.
Like, really.
And I had a mint julep.
We also ate A LOT.
But that wasn't the best part.

I got to see this little chicken:

Molly-Squared Reunion Tour.

I was so happy, I almost cried.
Wait.
I actually did cry.

In case anyone was wondering

Some things about my life at it's present state:

I joined a gym.
So that I don't look like this:

It should be of note, however, that on Tuesday evening I spent 45 minutes on the elliptical machine because I thought, "I'm relatively fit. I can handle it" and proceeded to pull both my calf muscles and am now forced to hobble about like a 103 year-old.
Which kind of supports the notion that I needed to join a gym in the first place.
If you ask me.


I just spent a gloriously relaxing (...right) week with my charming family here:

That's me and my wonderful cousin, Jenny.
Here we are acting all nonchalant around the paparazzi.
Being famous can be sooo annoying, don't you think?
Photo-essay on our fabulous adventures soon to come.


I also got a new job.
Like, as in one that involves and office and a desk and company.

Pretty groovy, right?
I enjoy it.
And I will tell you all about it.
Soon.
My life is only so interesting.
I have to milk sources for bloggin material when I can.


Also, some people had some birthdays:

photo from here.
Their names are:
Mom
Dad
Blake
Gramma
Grandpa
Marie
Lara
Amber
Aunt Jane
Danny
And I owe them all special birthday blogs.
What?
Shut up.
I've been busy.
That doesn't make me a bad daughter/granddaughter/niece/cousin/girlfriend/BFF.
Okay. Maybe it does.


So what was the point of this post, you ask?
Mostly to make my grandmother happy because she keeps whining about how I never blog anymore.

Old family photo found from here.
Looks good for her age, doesn't she?
I'm actually kind of impressed that she can still use a computer.
Way to go Grams!


Stay tuned for more awesomeness.

...But now I see.

Earlier this evening, I was driving home from my weekly visit with Marie and Wrigley the Schnoodle in Virden (Oh, you didn't know that Marie moved to Virden? More on that later.) I was mildly drowsy with DiCarlo's pizza and strawberry-banana ice cream from Whirl-A-Whip. I hurried down Route 4, anxious to get home to me sweatpants and clean sheets.

As I hit a patch of road between Thayer and Chatham, there were no other headlights in sight. No fellow travelers in front or behind me. Kings of Leon found it's way from my iPod to the speakers. I smiled to myself and let the late summer breeze sweep through the open windows tangle my neglected hair into impossible knots. Air that smelled like fresh-cut grass, sweat, and burning leaves.

On the shoulders of the blacktop, the fireflies danced in their nightly testimonial to the impending dark. Deep indigo paint bled across the sky into a canopy in front of me. Corn whooshed by me on the left, soybeans on my right.

Above the fringe of the tall stalks of corn lay a strip of sky still untouched by night. The sun was melting into the horizon in a glowing ball. The atmosphere around it looked as though a child had seized a treasure-box from his grandmother's bureau and scattered it's precious contents across a quilt; sapphires faded into emeralds, emeralds into golden pieces of amber, amber into deep amethysts, and amethysts into brilliant rubies.

The corn's feathery fingers stretched towards the jewel-box sky, silhouetted by the disappearing daylight. Skeletal outlines of trees, set aglow by dusk, dotted the approaching landscape. Modest houses surrounded by fields of vegetative wealth sighed as they settled in to sleep.

I have seen a lot of breathtaking things in my life: the Eiffel Tower, the Trevi Fountain, the Black Canyon of the Gunnison, the ocean. I have never considered this place to be "beautiful." Desolate, barren, forgotten...maybe. But never beautiful. The place I grew up is populated by spires of metal and glass, twisting upwards into the gray-green mist, created leftovers from an ungrateful population. People congest the streets, moving and breathing as a single organism. That was beautiful to me. It still is.

But there is beauty in this place, too.

Sometimes the light just has to disappear for it's magnitude to be realized.

Well, this is kind of upsetting.

I think that if I were more inclined to actually do work while at work, this probably wouldn't happen so much. However, my productivity is currently being thwarted by the fact that it's 78 degrees outside today with a nice breeze, and all I can think about is eating a fresh peach, drinking a Long Island iced tea, and then napping on the lawn. Because that's how I roll.

Once again, Facebook has managed to take what started out as a perfectly average day and blast it into a billion shards of depression-coated gloom. And not because someone posted an unflattering picture of me in a bathing suit or something (because we all know that I un-tag those bitches as soon as they go up. No, seriously).

Honestly Facebook, on most days you bring me great joy. Like when Molly and I exchange massive quantities of "Mean Girls" quotations via commenting on Sally's status. Or when Lara and Amber and I find personal satisfaction in stalking the profile of someone we mutually loathe for the sheer sake of giggling at pretentious pictures that are meant to make this person look "sexy" and "cool", but in actuality makes them look like a total dumbass. Good times, Facebook. Good times.

Although I'm sort of ashamed to admit this, I'll be totally honest and say that I've been keeping a very close eye on this whole "Jon and Kate" scandal thing. Possibly to a point that borders on unhealthy. But whatevs. It's a whole lot like a train wreck, except with adultery and not-so-cleverly veiled attempts at insulting each other on national television. What's not to adore? I will also be honest and say, however, that it's a little sad; both because we as an audience (myself definitely included) are so entertained by their heartache, and also because a family is dissolving. And that is always sad, regardless of whether certain people choose to complain about the media firestorm that they invited in to their lives or not.

Sidebar: Yeah, I know Kate comes off as a bitch. But 1). that does not give her husband the right to cheat on her. Even if she beat him with barbed wire every single night, that doesn't mean that Jon's allowed to go out and get some from someone else. It doesn't work that way. You get a divorce, file a restraining order, and then sleep around. And 2). the woman has eight kids, for crying out loud. Do you have eight kids? I don't have eight kids. I don't even know anyone who has eight kids. And even if I did, I am most certain that two of them would be one age, and the rest of them would all be another. Even the other crazy woman on TLC that has 18 kids doesn't have six of them that are THE SAME AGE. Ergo, we as observers cannot say how a mother would or should act in this situation. All the icky tanning and weird haircuts and free shit and diva-like behavior aside, Kate might be allowed to raise her voice once in a while. Mmmkay?

So anyway, due to my present state of overdose on TLC (whom I wholeheartedly thank for running a Jon and Kate plus 8" marathon all. weekend. long), anything realated to the TV show catches my eye. Case and point: I currently have not one but THREE different trashy magazines with the cover story sitting on my counnter at home. No joke. It's becoming a problem.

During my ritualistic perusal of Facebook every ten minutes today, my newsfeed informed me that one of my "friends" (read: person I went to school with and do not necessarily dislike in any way, but never see in person) took one of those stupid quiz deals where it's supposed to tell you what kind of "something" you are. Normally, I just breeze right over in favor of discovering who is "no longer liste and single" and who "ended their relationship." Oh, and also because I don't really give a shit about what kind of Greek God you would supposedly be based on a series of overly-banal questions. But this particular quiz...this particular quiz was entitled "Which Jon and Kate plus 8 character are you?"

I have several issues with this in that these are not characters, THEY ARE ACTUAL PEOPLE...but...you know. It's cool. That and the fact that isn't it a little demeaning to the individuals themselves to reduce them to definitions consisting of options A through D and Yes or No questions? Not to mention pretty pointless.

But alas, Jon, Kate and their 8 beckoned me, so glance at the results I did. This person was supposedly Mady. My first reaction was "oh my god I can't stand Mady," which is true. The show portrays her as needy and selifsh and kind of an attention hog (notice I didn't use the traditional word "whore" here, as I felt that it might be in poor taste when talking about a seven year-old. See? I do have morals). Just annoying and dramatic in general.

And then, in a momentay lapse of sanity, I considered where I would fit into the mix, were I in fact a child and a pre-existing one belonging to Jon and Kate. It was in this brief, fleeting moment I came to this realization: I would totally be Mady.

Which sucks.

It would be at this point in my diatribe that I allow myself to choose whether I want to be the pot, or the kettle.

My sister will be the first to tell you that I was a *tad* bit dramatic as a child. And needy. And selfish. And an attention WHORE (see? Appropriate usage here because I am not seven). Also, annoying.

I would be the second person to tell you all those things.

There might even be a video somewhere that involves me in a tutu, spinning and singing for the camcorder, my brother interrupting me by trying to get my mother (aka the cameraman) to pay attention to him, me shoving him off-screen and yelling "get out of my SPOTLIGHT."

Oh, how I wish I were kidding.

I like to think I've matured a little bit since then, but I still see shades of my former brat self now and again. For example: umm....this blog? But I've also gotten to the point where it doesn't send me into a heinous downward self-esteem spiral when someone focuses on something besides me or what I'm doing. In fact, I kind of like it sometimes. Go figure.

Maybe I thought that I was so far beyond my former self that I had the right to judge others with the same afflictions. Clearly, this is not the case- I am neither totally uninhibited by my center-of-attention-ness, nor do I have the right to judge someone else who exhibits the same habits. Least of all a child who lives her life around television cameras and paparrazi.

I read somewhere once (maybe my AP Psych textbook...hey Ms. Rosenthal! I was paying attention that day instead of flirting with the boy behind me) that the reason we dislike the people we dislike is because they display through mirrored-image the traits that we most despise about ourselves.

I'll try to remember that next time I'm judging someone.

The operative word here being, of course, *try*.

A letter from the edge

You may have been wondering where I am. Probably not, though.
I certainly have.

Let me break it down for you:

-Pink eye (now complete with BOTH eyes!)
-Unpacking
-Work
-Health insurance malfunctions
-Trying not to freak out


I'm coming back.
Just not today.

PS- I also might be wearing yoga pants to work today. Because I'm a professional.
Sorry Lara.

When I'm in charge

I'm outlawing Wednesdays.

For real.

They're not even allowed on the roster.

Also:

MY SISTER IS COMING TO VISIT THIS WEEKEND.

So much love.

And.

Ummm...Blake?

Is there something you want to tell me?

Happy Earth Day!