Overheard.

Dad: You're doing it wrong!
Mom: You are NOT foreman of this house, sir!
Dad:...you're still doing it wrong.

An Astute Observation

Brother: How old is that cat?

Me: Three. Isn't he adorable?

Brother: I guess that means he's going to be around for a while.

Me: True. I'm kind of concerned that I'll turn into a crazy cat lady.

Brother: Um, I think you're already there.

Me: ...

Someone get me a shopping cart and a dirty bathrobe.
Stat.

Ruth and Ray have a conversation

Making pancakes...

Dad: How much batter should I make?
Mom: Well, look at the recipe. How many does it yield?
Dad: Yield? What is this yield business?
Mom: It's a cooking term.
Dad: Yeah, but it's the kind of thing that gets written at the end of a recipe. No one actually uses it in real life.


Discussing their new fireplace, a little while later....

Mom: So, have you talked to anyone about how to do the gas fittings?
Dad: Nope. I'm just gonna wing-it.
Mom: What happens if you blow yourself up? More importantly, what if you blow us both up?
Dad:Well, if that happens....then we've yielded three beautiful children. They can collect on the life insurance.
Mom:...
Dad: You don't trust me, do you?
Mom: After 30 years, I've learned to trust you. But when you say things like that, you don't always convince me.


I run to the computer, and furiously start typing their conversation, because I'm convinced that Molly and Marie will think it's hilarious...

Dad: What are you doing?
Me:...definitely not typing a transcript of the conversation you just had...
Dad: Jeez! Is anything in this family private anymore?!

Apparently not.